Communication strengthens parent-college student relationships, but has limits

A recent study from Washington State University (WSU) suggests that while communication between college students and their parents strengthens relationships, it’s important for parents to avoid taking over. Whether it's a phone call, text, or video chat, students who keep in regular touch with their parents feel more positively about their relationships—especially when the conversations revolve around meaningful topics like studying or friendships.

However, the study also highlights a potential downside: if parents are the ones initiating nearly all the contact, it can lead to a negative perception of the relationship.

“That could be indicative of over-involved parenting,” said Jennifer Duckworth, the study’s lead author and assistant professor in WSU’s human development department. Duckworth notes that this behavior is often referred to as “helicopter parenting,” where parents may unknowingly undermine their child’s sense of independence, resulting in a less positive relationship.

The research, published in Emerging Adulthood, underscores the importance of parents maintaining an active role in their children’s lives. Offering advice and support, without overwhelming their child, helps improve the overall relationship. Simple gestures like sending a text message can make a big difference in how students perceive their connection with their parents.

“Text messages are great for a quick check-in that can be very beneficial to the relationship quality,” Duckworth added. She also pointed out that students who report having strong relationships with their parents tend to engage in more positive behaviors, such as studying more and using alcohol or drugs less frequently.

The study found that the amount and frequency of communication are key. “We looked at daily levels of parent/student communication, and days with communication were better for the relationship than days without any communication,” said Duckworth. “Similarly, days with more communication were better than days with less communication.”

Interestingly, the study found that when students communicated with their parents about important matters and felt supported, they experienced a more positive relationship the next day. “On days when they communicated, and students were honest with their parents and parents offered support or advice, the students reported they felt more positive about their relationship the following day,” Duckworth explained.

To gather these insights, Duckworth and her team surveyed 367 first-year WSU students. For seven consecutive days, the students responded to daily surveys sent via text message, with the opportunity to earn up to $30 for completing every survey. The data collected revealed significant patterns in communication between students and their parents.

One of the key findings involved gender differences. Female students reported more frequent communication than their male peers, spending more time discussing friendships and relationships. However, male students focused more on topics like time management. There were also notable differences based on racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Students from racially or ethnically minoritized groups reported fewer days of communication, but they spent more time on the phone or video chatting when they did communicate. These students also reported being less open with their parents and spent less time discussing academic topics or substance use.

“We don’t know why this is the case,” Duckworth said, referring to the communication patterns observed in minoritized students. “It could reflect cultural or contextual differences, or differences in parenting styles. It’s definitely an area for future research.”

In conclusion, while maintaining frequent communication with your college-aged children is crucial for a positive relationship, balance is essential. Parents should aim to support their children without taking over. The findings suggest that students benefit from communication that feels genuine and supportive, rather than overwhelming.

Note: Materials provided above by The Brighter Side of News. Content may be edited for style and length.

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